Berwald Oxensiterna-Sweden

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Name: Berwald Gustaf Oxenstierna
Nicknames: Berri, Bear, Little Lion
Age: 26
Date of Birth: June 6
Gender: Male
Occupation: Clinical Psychologist
Heritage: Eurasian Lynx
Seed Rank: Light Seed
Birthplace: Skellefteå, Sweden

Appearance: Berwald is, without a doubt, someone who is very easy to spot in a crowd, if not for his height alone. Standing at an impressive 6’4, he stands at at least a head above most, if not all, of his peers. Despite his height and his more-broad-than-muscular body type, his movements are surprisingly fluid, graceful even. Unfortunately, “grace” isn’t something that a lot of people apply to him. Because of his sharp eyes and perpetual scowl, the most common comparison is that he’s like a predator stalking his prey, waiting for the perfect moment to lash out with teeth and claws. Either conception only applies to when he isn’t in a new or awkward situation. In either case, he looks more like a giant lost kitten than a graceful feline or dangerous predator.
Beyond the intimidation factor, Berwald is handsome by society’s definition, well defined facial features with somewhat defined cheekbones and jawline and a visage that practically proclaims that he does, or has done, a fair amount of physical activity at one point or another. Blonde hair is cut short and well groomed, and if you get past the seemingly-constant glare, his eyes are a rather remarkable shade somewhere perfectly between blue and green, and his skin, while pale, doesn’t show any signs of scars, callouses or any other sort of unsightly blemish. Even the glasses he wears add to his apparent attractiveness, since according to his ex-husband, they make him look very professional and educated.

While not something that would make him stand out from the crowd, his hair does change in accordance with the season, not unlike how his breed’s coat changes from summer to winter. In the summer, his hair is thinner and a light, almost wheat shade of blonde, and in the winter it becomes marginally thicker, longer, and becomes a shade darker.

Distinguishing Features: None whatsoever. And even if he did, he'd cover them up. Tattoos and piercings don’t belong in an professional environment, let alone a Psychologist’s office.

Sexual Orientation: Homosexual. Not really looking for a new mate just yet.

Likes:

• High places
  He can't really explain it, really. Maybe it's the feline in him, but he loves being in higher places rather than lower.
  
  
• Climbing
  Something he can easily pass off as being due to his feline Soul, and his preference for hunting animals who ran up trees when he was younger. Naturally he isn't as good a climber in his human form, but he is still able to scale a tree with relative ease, provided there are branches that can support his weight.
  
  
• Coffee
  Back home in Sweden having a coffee break, or Fika, was apart of his everday routine, usually enjoyed with a cinnamon bun or a small plate of rosenmunnar. He has admitted to having somewhat of an addiction to caffinne. It doesn't matter when he has it, morning, afternoon, night, Berwald is a man who loves coffee. Black coffee, something sweet, and classical music is like heaven to him.
  
  
  
• Alcohol
  Like any true Scandinavian man, Berwald loves his liquor. He doesn't indulge in it as often as some others, he will still partake in a drink or two... or ten. He is Swedish after all, and his alcohol tolerance is nothing to scoff at. There would probably some interesting stories to tell about a drunk Berwald if anyone could remember them. That, and having an emotionally draining profession like Psychology, peace usually comes in a nice cold glass of akvavit.
  
  
  
• Classical music
  He loves music that involves pianos, harps, cellos and violins. He finds the genre of music very, very stress-relieving and listens to it whenever he can. He even thinks the accordion can sound soothing if it is played a certain way.
  
  
• The Nyckelharpa
  Yes, it is big, bulky, and cumbersome, but Berwald loves the instrument all the same. Even if it would just be easier to switch to a violin, since getting a Nyckelharpa fixed is a little bothersome, it is a very beloved instrument that reminds him of home.
  
  
• The scent of wood/sawdust
  Oddly enough, Berwald loves how sawdust and wood smells. He can't quite describe why, he just does. He is particularly fond of how pine and redwood smells.
  
  
• Children
  He's got a real soft spot for children, and that's really all there is to say. He'd actually like to adopt a child of his own one day.
  
  
• Snow
  There's something peaceful about the snow, something pure and symbolic. Even if he does think too much about the symbolism of the black and white winter world melting away to the colorful spring, it's just nice to look at. It's also fun to run around in when he's in his Soul form.
  
  
• Books
  Books were really the only thing Berwald had when he was confined to his bed, since he couldn't exactly go outside and play like the other children. He finds joy in any sort of story that he can get his hands on; fairytales, fantasy, science fiction, history, mythology. Anything that occupies his mind and engrosses him in that world. It's escapism in it's purest form, and he indulges whenever he can.
  
  
• Discussions
  Despite his silence and shyness, Berwald does enjoy a good conversation. One, itprovides a good base for any profile he might want to write, and two it makes him feel like his company is appreciated. It’s silly, really, but in his eyes if someone is willing to talk to him about something as mundane as their day, he must be worth the time to them.

Dislikes:

• Intense sunlight
  He burns very, very easily, it’s as simple as that.
  
  
• Personal space being invaded
  There’s being friendly, and then there’s being a little too close for comfort. It’s odd, coming from a man as tactile as he is, but people being too close to him makes him feel embaressed or uncomfortable. His breath could smell, for example, and that would be embaressing. If the person is a lover then the situation is altered and he’ll go out of his way to be close to that person. But a lover and a friend are two completely different things.
  
  
• His health
  Who could ever like being sick every other season? It’s gotten much better than it used to be, but he’s still down and out for a few days over something as simple as a cold. It’s irritating and inconvinent, and makes him feel pathetic and helpless. A grown man, let alone one his size, should have a stronger immune system.
  
  
• Conflict
  Berwald, despite his predator insticts, would much rather avoid any sort of conflict when it comes to other people. He hates arguing, since it doesn’t fix anything at the end of the day, and he never feels fulfilled after an argument, even if he was in the right, he just feels guilty that he let it go on.
  
  
• People mispronouncing his name
  It is a bit of a pet-peeve, Berwald will admit, but it still bothers him. The proper way to say it is: "ŭk-shun-shur-nah.” If all else fails, “Berwald” or “Swede” works just fine. Call him “Ox-en-sty-err-na”, however, and you will get a disapproving stare.
  
  
• People who can’t help themselves/accept help
  He can’t help anyone who can’t help themselves or accept help from others. Sadly he’s encountered a good handful of people who think that there’s no point in even trying anymore. If they thought that, why pay so much money to get professional help? And then there are the people that claim that they don’t need any help at all; that they only came into Berwald’s office because they were forced to, and that some overpayed doctor with a fancy degree didn’t understand anything. It’s people like these that made Berwald turn to alcohol.

Interests/Hobbies:

• Building models
  Even when he was a little boy, building toy boats out of scrap wood, putting together models is something Berwald has loved for years. Gradually moving up from crude boats that were little more than blocks nailed together, to simple plastic airplanes, to complex figures that require hours of work and a steady hand.
  
  
• Nature walks/hiking
  Growing up in a part of Sweden that’s know as “Europe’s last untouched wilderness” it should come as no suprise that he enjoys all the time he can get out taking nature walks and hikes. The only problem now is to find a place to do so in Banyuls-sur-Mer.
  
  
• Playing the nyckelharpa
  It gives him something to do during the times where he’s sick and can’t leave his house. He’d like to play it a lot more, actually. Sadly he just can’t find as much time to do so anymore.

Aspirations:

• Finding a mate
  Not now, but someday. He’d like to find another person to actually spend of his life with; someone to love and hold and cherish.
  
  
• Getting better
  He’d like to be rid of his weak health once and for all, one day. The chances of that happening are slim, he knows, since it has yet to happen despite his best efforts. A man can dream, though, can’t he?
  
  
• Building his confidence
  He’d like to be a more self-assured, confident man outside of the professional world. He’d love to get over his social anxiety and be able to socialize with other people without feeling afraid that he’ll do something wrong or embaressing.

Fears:

• Being alone
  There really is nothing worse than being alone in this wide world. If there are so many people, why should any one person have to face the lonliness of being alone?
  
  
• Being bedridden
  Berwald quite likes his mobility, and would rather not spend the rest of his life stuck in bed because his body finally gave out. Then there’s the burden being bedridden would place on other people, he doesn’t want to make anyone feel obligated to take care of him, is all.
  
  
• Dying
  Not the act of dying, no, since it's pointless to be afraid of something as inevitable as death. He's more afraid of what comes after death, if anything at all. Is there something for the believers? Nothing for the non believers? Is there anything at all? Do you just die, and then wake up reincarnated and not knowing any better? So many questions without answers...
  
  
• Failure
  This is a pretty big thing for Berwald, since he is both a people pleaser, and suffers from self-esteem issues. There's also the lingering feeling that if he can't help someone during his sessions with them, and they end up doing something drastic, then he will feel the blame will partially be on his shoulders, even if it might not be. It's silly, since he know that he can't help everybody, but it's something that he still worried about.
  
  
  
  
  
  Personality: On one hand Berwald is humble, gentle and polite, but on the other hand he is quiet, socially awkward and timid, although “timid” and “Berwald” don't seem like they would go together in the same sentence. He isn’t the most talkative person outside of a professional setting, in fact he hardly says a complete sentence to anyone whenever he’s not working, and the reason being that he is also horribly self-conscious about his speech impediment and his accent. Growing up in Sweden all his life with little-to-no experience with English has left him able to speak the language, but his accent is so deep that some people might have a hard time understanding it. Due to his profession he has worked towards making his speech clearer, although it often slips whenever he’s not working. “M’name is Berwald Oxenstierna” becomes “m’ame is B’rwald ‘xenst’erna” to give an example of the worse that his speech ever gets. Thankfully it only gets that bad whenever he’s particularly flustered or embarrassed, in which case he’ll probably just divulge into Swedish to prevent it from getting any worse for him. He also blushes very, very easily.
  
  Horribly shy around new people in particular, he will still contribute to a conversation if he’s ever engaged, although his replies are usually short, informal, clipped not-even-complete sentences. It doesn’t divulge too much about him, but it gets the point across and answers the questions, doesn’t it? He also abhors any sort of social gathering, crowds in general just make him uncomfortable, so he’ll usually just migrate to his own little corner and try and blend in with the wall if he can. Again, this doesn’t work nearly as well as he wish it did. He is also a somewhat tactile man, especially when he's nervous. Always fiddling with his glasses or trying to smooth out his hair or lacing his fingers in his lap in an attempt to keep them still. Doing something with his hands distracts him from the current topic. That said this also extends to more intimate situations, where he reaches out to stroke or pet his lover's hair, or let his hands linger across their skin, almost like he wants to commit ever little bit of that person to physical memory.
  
  Berwald is a bit of a people pleaser, and he's accepted that. Being considerate, responsible, and reliable is a way to keep people around him, and want to be around him, so it's better than the alternative. Need someone to drive you home after a hard night at the bar? Call Berwald. Need some help getting out of trouble with a superior officer? Berwald will try and step in and defend your case. Heck, even if you need something as simple as cough medicine, he'll go out and get it for you if you ask. That said, even he has to draw the line somewhere. He will not do anything that will end up humiliating him, or anything ridiculous. Berwald does throw himself into his work a little too much sometimes, especially when he's upset. When he's not on the job, he's studying with his online course so he can actually get into a University. He does leave time for recreation, of course, but even then he works himself a little too hard. He claims it helps with stress, but it might just make him even tenser in the end, especially considering his occupation.
  
  He has somewhat of a bad habit of starting Psychological profiles of the people he meets. He knows it’s rude, and that if anyone every found them they probably wouldn’t want to spend time with him anymore, but really he can’t help it; people fascinate him. He usually keeps a small notebook on his person at all times to take notes if anything about a person strikes his fancy, which is taken home and expanded on into an actual profile. Thankfully he doesn’t need to worry about anyone finding these “secret” profiles since he keeps them stored on a flash drive.
  
  Berwald suffers from social anxiety, and as such has somewhat crippled self-esteem, no thanks to all the time he spent away from people. He's constantly checking himself, and scolding himself, whenever he feels like he's done something wrong, and doesn't hesitate to call himself an idiot. Whether this is good or not is up for debate. He also has a bad tendency of keeping things to himself, he doesn't want his problems to be shouldered onto anyone else, plain and simple. He'll gladly take on someone else's burdens, but it's his own that he's unwilling to share with the rest of the world. Since he's a man who loves the quiet moments he has to himself, Berwald figures he can work through his problems himself. Or, at the very least, push them aside so they can fester quietly. Problems can't hurt anyone if they're not on the forefront of the mind, after all. It isn’t a very healthy practice, a little hypocritical when you think about it, but it works.
  
  It is always said that the cruelest outbursts come from the kindest people, and Berwald is no exception. While his patient is rivaled with that of a saint, it can run out if all the wrong buttons are pushed, and while he isn't physically violent he is emotionally and verbally so. While it doesn't happen very often, he will take everything he's gathered about you, your denials, your flaws, anything, and throw it right back at you. If you're on the receiving end of this abuse, you must have some something to deserve it, since Berwald is never cruel or callous or abusive just for the sake of being so.
  
  
  
  
  Family:
  • Olivia Oxenstierna (Mother)
    
  • Eirik Oxenstierna (Father)
    
  • Joel Aaker (Ex-husband)
  
  
  Brief History: Any sort of cat having less than four kittens in her litter is a cause for concern, even if the problem is minor. So when Olivia Oxenstierna gave birth to one kitten on a warm June evening, a few months before the expected due date, some red flags were raised. The kitten was weak and scrawny, barely able to even cry out for his Mamma, but Olivia and Eirik were reassured that their only son would be fine, if not having a weakened immune system or stunted growth. Although her father was a little dissapointed that his daughter didn’t produce anymore grandchildren, Olivia adored her Little Lion- her Berwald- like any mother should. Wanting to get away from the hustle and bustle of Stockholm, to a place where they would be closer to nature, Olivia and Eirik packed their belongings and moved to Skellefteå, hoping that the fresh, clean air would help Berwald’s health improve.
  
  Berwald had to miss out on most of the joys of socializing, and being a zuman, when he was a child, since he spent at least half his childhood confined to a bed. The doctor had been right about one thing, he premature birth weakened Berwald’s immune system, leaving it unable to fend off a common cold properly, let alone a flu. What would be mild cases turned into fevers, and flus left his parents gathering everything they would need if they ever needed to rush to the hospital, thankfully they only had to do this once. Berwald was twelve years old when he nearly died of pneumonia, he had seemingly recovered from a flu and, after monitoring him for a few days, allowed him to go back to school. His fever relapsed, hitting him harder than before and causing him to lose consciousness while he was playing outside with the other students. The next thing he knew, he was in a hospital bed, and about ten seconds later in his mother’s arms as she rocked him and sobbed out thank yous to whatever God would listen. He stayed in that hospital for two and a half weeks.
  
  The day he was released he asked his parents to go take him hunting, a rather bold request since his family had all but ignored their zuman heritage while they were fussing over Berwald’s health. Olivia in particular was against the idea and adamantly refused to let Berwald go out and hunt on his own, since anything could happen out in the wild. The boy argued that he wasn’t getting any better sitting at home and hoping his health would improve, and eventually his mother caved. He would be allowed to hunt in the forest provided she or Eirik were there to watch him. Going the first decade of his life with no real experience on how to be a lynx, Berwald wasn't a very good hunter. He was too loud, too hasty, didn't strike to kill, and couldn't really climb trees as well as a lynx his age should have been able to. He caught on soon enough, and as it turns out the times he spent hunting with his family were the best of his life, although Berwald seemed to have a preference for the creatures that skirted up trees than the ones that stayed on the ground. Maybe he just wanted to prove he could climb a tree to catch his pray, or maybe he just enjoyed being so high up, the reason eludes him to this day.
  
  Years passed, and with Berwald's improving health came a very sudden and very dramatic growth spurt. It was if nature was waiting for him to be active before dumping physical maturity on him, and he spent a good part of his teenage years trying to adjust to the sudden change. It was oddly adorable, watching this awkwardly tall young man acting like a kitten whose paws were too big. He did well enough in school, not the top of his class, but not the bottom either, skirting the line between “average” and “above average” for the most part. He was fortunate enough not to butt heads with too many people, since his Zuman peers knew to back off from a heavy seed. That, and Berwald was a large, predetorial cat, whose claws could easily rip through skin and muscle. It was best to just let this quiet giant go about his business. Unfortunately he didn’t have many friends, his sheltered lifestyle leaving him a socially awkward lad who didn’t really know how to be social. He was friendly enough, but something about him just pushed people away from him. It was lonely, yes, but Berwald didn’t really mind it. His mother, father, and the little white dog who came around their house was enough for him.
  
  After secondary school, Berwald moved to Umeå to study Psychology. His parents were a little worried about sending their sickly little cub off on his own, even offering to go with him, but he politely declined. Of course Olivia was adamant about arguing the fact with him. He understood the concern, but being treated like he was made of glass was starting to wear on his nerves. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, he booked a flight to Umeå, not telling his parents of his intentions until a few days before his flight. This caused some animosity between Berwald and' Olivia, but she managed to forgive him just before he got on his flight, on the condition that he would call them ass often as he could. Far from home with nothing but an acceptance letter from Umeå University, his savings, and the clothes he had packed, Berwald walked into a new, independent life. And he started feeling homesick not even a month after classes started.
  
  Thankfully he wasn't alone in this endeavor, since he quickly became familiar with another young man who was pursuing a degree computer science, and the two of them really hit it off. To say it was love at first sight would be a bit of an overstatement; Berwald fell in love with Joel the fourth time they met. He must have done something right, since the two of them were dating by the time that summer holiday rolled around, and they were married shortly before the Midsummer celebrations of the following year began, and it was a summer that still remains in Berwald's memory to this day. He had obtained what many consider to be a perfect life, with a loving husband to spent the lazily passing days with and talk of adopting a child once they were out of university. In the real world, however, perfection is fleeting and all things must come to an end.
  
  Six years into the marriage, one year after Berwald obtained his Doctorate's degree in Psychology; whatever existed between the two went out as abruptly as a candle being blown out. It was an odd thing to through, falling in and out of love so easily, but at least he was spared the drama that comes with most couples falling out of love. Six years being married to someone was a pretty good run, he rationalized, and there was no use crying over something he couldn't really change, or lamenting over what he could have change because he simply didn't know when and why it all came apart.. Their divorce was quiet, only done for the sake of making it official more than doing it out of any sort of hatred or spite, Berwald remained in Umeå to continue working, and his former husband moved somewhere else, although they still kept contact with one another. He must have been more distracted about the ordeal than he let himself believe, since one of his clients caught onto it the second she walked into the office. The discussion eventually led to the woman suggesting Berwald take some time off in Banyuls-sur-Mer, France. It was a little extreme, taking a vacation all the way across the ocean instead of somewhere more local, and for a while Berwald thought it wouldn't be worth the time, effort and money. This mind sent only lasted a few weeks, and after bidding goodbye to his family and former husband, he found himself flying towards this small coastal town.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  OOC
  
  
  Name/Alias; That one girl. The one with the face, y'know.
  Age; 20.... something
  Favorite Pairings; BerrixWorld
  Do you want to be Cbox, Thread, or Both?: Both
  Did you read the rules?
  You'll be there, by my side
  
  You may never know my devotion.
  
  Feel my breath in the quiet night
  
  Live in vanity forever
  
  

  
  Berwald didn't make a habit of drinking; not really. He indulged every now and again, when he had the time and the money, but even then the only time drinking became a “habit” for him was after he had received his third rejection letter. Even then all he drank was cheap box wine, and he didn't even get drunk off such weak alcohol. Ah, but that was in the past now, and that rough spot in his life was best left forgotten. It hadn't been his crowning moment, and just remembering it made Berwald's face burn shamefully. Thankfully the memories were knocked from his mind the second he stepped into The Irish Lady Pub and Eatery, as the gathered patrons laughed and drank and sang merrily, oblivious to the abnormally tall blonde man who had wandered inside.
  
  Berwald had gone to The Royal Vauxhall Tavern, earlier that evening, but shyly backed out shortly afterward. It was just his luck that he walked in during one of the drag shows. Not that the sight was unappealing, good heavens no, but it was hard to act nonchalant when you were red faced and flustered. God help him if another one of the patrons started flirting, Berwald would probably degrade into Swedish out of embarrassment. He decided it was best to avoid that scenario (and the possibility of finding a strange man in his bed tomorrow morning). Shouldering past some of the patrons, Berwald made his way to an unoccupied table near a corner of the room, trying to make himself as un-noticeable as physically possible. Fortunately he wasn't in uniform; that would make him stick out like a sore thumb. It would also be highly unprofessional for an officer to stumble out of a bar, completely pissed. That, and considering the rumors surrounding this particular bar, a police officer probably wouldn't be very welcome anyway. In short, the more he stayed out of sight, the better.
  
  ...Unless he started singing karaoke again. Apparently that was something he actually did after he had finally gotten drunk enough, If the stories told by one of his co-workers was to be believed. Even if he couldn't remember when and how he had started singing (or if he even sang at all) Berwald's face flushed. Hopefully he would have enough common sense to leave before he got to that point.

  
  
  
  
  
  

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