Post by Reed on May 20, 2013 2:05:11 GMT -5
Ah, hello! I'm sorry for the delay, let's see here...As of now, I cannot accept this application.
First of all, there are a few grammatical and spelling errors spread about in the app, and with a few more quick reads, I'm sure those could be proofread out. The real dilemma is this: World Descendants is a human AU, and there are many mentions of "nations" throughout the application, and even the personality seems more geared towards Nation-China than Zuman-Wang Yao. These mentions have to be removed, since the characters are not nations, but rather humans; in this case, zumans, which, simply put, are humans that have the ability to transform into animals due to their genetics. So you have to work to gear this application towards the AU rather than nation-canon. The "history" section is pretty bare, so maybe you could touch up a little on it? You have in the personality that "Even with his rough past, he can see the bright side because he knows how bad things get. With all the disappointments in his life", along with the fact that he has a large scar on his back. Could you elaborate on these facts in the history? What happened to him that was so disappointing? Was he bullied? Did he just not meet up with family expectations? Did he not get to go to the school he wanted to go to? How did he get injured? As of right now, you have the most basic of explanation in the history, that really doesn't explain anything at all. I know that histories are tough, but could you try to flesh it out just a bit more, to help explain how Yao grew up into the person he is now?
In your history, you mention how "Ivan and Soo are obsessed with Yao"--could you try to remove mention of other characters in the app? We don't want any members to feel as if their character is being altered against their will; headcanons and all that, you know? If you talk with the Russia RPer, Jenski, then it would be fine to make mention of Ivan in your app, but please don't do it without discussion, to avoid any problems, si?
If you are having problems with understanding the WD-verse, then please look at both the FAQ and the Details pages for answers to your questions. You also haven't filled out the "Did you read the rules" section properly, so perhaps taking another, closer look could help.think italics
The likes and dislikes, hobbies, everything there is all interesting--if you could gear them to a human-AU, they would be very interesting and different from the current European-based characters we have right now. A whole new spectrum of interests that would peak a lot of attention. I'm sure you'll have a fabulous application with just a little bit of tweaking! :3
[/size]First of all, there are a few grammatical and spelling errors spread about in the app, and with a few more quick reads, I'm sure those could be proofread out. The real dilemma is this: World Descendants is a human AU, and there are many mentions of "nations" throughout the application, and even the personality seems more geared towards Nation-China than Zuman-Wang Yao. These mentions have to be removed, since the characters are not nations, but rather humans; in this case, zumans, which, simply put, are humans that have the ability to transform into animals due to their genetics. So you have to work to gear this application towards the AU rather than nation-canon. The "history" section is pretty bare, so maybe you could touch up a little on it? You have in the personality that "Even with his rough past, he can see the bright side because he knows how bad things get. With all the disappointments in his life", along with the fact that he has a large scar on his back. Could you elaborate on these facts in the history? What happened to him that was so disappointing? Was he bullied? Did he just not meet up with family expectations? Did he not get to go to the school he wanted to go to? How did he get injured? As of right now, you have the most basic of explanation in the history, that really doesn't explain anything at all. I know that histories are tough, but could you try to flesh it out just a bit more, to help explain how Yao grew up into the person he is now?
In your history, you mention how "Ivan and Soo are obsessed with Yao"--could you try to remove mention of other characters in the app? We don't want any members to feel as if their character is being altered against their will; headcanons and all that, you know? If you talk with the Russia RPer, Jenski, then it would be fine to make mention of Ivan in your app, but please don't do it without discussion, to avoid any problems, si?
If you are having problems with understanding the WD-verse, then please look at both the FAQ and the Details pages for answers to your questions. You also haven't filled out the "Did you read the rules" section properly, so perhaps taking another, closer look could help.
The likes and dislikes, hobbies, everything there is all interesting--if you could gear them to a human-AU, they would be very interesting and different from the current European-based characters we have right now. A whole new spectrum of interests that would peak a lot of attention. I'm sure you'll have a fabulous application with just a little bit of tweaking! :3